What Breaks My Heart About Being a Wills Lawyer

As a wills lawyer, I have the privilege of helping people plan for their future and protect their loved ones. It’s a rewarding job but comes with its fair share of heartache. Estate planning isn't just about paperwork and legal jargon; it’s about people, families, and the emotions tied to their stories. And while I strive to help clients find peace of mind, some moments truly break my heart. Here’s why:

When Families Fall Apart

Conflict Over Inheritances: It’s devastating to see siblings, who once shared childhood memories, turn against each other because of disagreements over an inheritance. I’ve witnessed the deepest rifts form over who gets what, and it’s painful knowing that these disputes can last for years, if not forever. I’ve even witnessed a brother and sister become estranged over their late mother’s punch bowl! Families are complicated but adding a highly emotional situation to the mix can lead to a breaking point.

Lack of Communication: Many times, family members are blindsided by the contents of a will because there was no prior discussion. This lack of communication can lead to resentment, confusion, and, sadly, broken relationships. If only people would talk openly about their wishes, it could spare their loved ones a lot of pain. But if you can’t talk about it, you can always leave written information about why you wrote the Will in the way that you did so that they can better understand.

When People Delay Estate Planning

The “It Won’t Happen to Me” Mentality: Too many people put off creating a will, thinking they have plenty of time. Unfortunately, I’ve seen the aftermath when someone passes away unexpectedly without a will in place. The loved ones left behind are not only grieving but are also left to navigate a complicated legal process.

Avoiding Tough Conversations: I get it—talking about death and what happens to our assets isn’t a pleasant topic. But avoiding these conversations doesn’t make the reality any less inevitable. Embracing our mortality can make us appreciate the shortness of life so that we live each moment to the fullest. It’s heartbreaking to see families in distress because their loved ones didn’t want to face these tough decisions when they had the chance.

When Clients Struggle with Tough Decisions

Choosing a Guardian for Minor Children: One of the hardest parts for many parents is deciding who will care for their children if they pass away. I’ve sat across from clients who are visibly torn, unsure if anyone could truly fill their shoes. It’s an emotional decision, and it’s tough to witness the anguish it can cause. But you have to make a decision otherwise the court or someone else who does not know your child and their needs, or your values, will make that decision for you if you don’t.

Leaving Someone Out of a Will: Whether it’s a child who’s had a falling out with the family or a spouse from a blended family, deciding to exclude someone from a will is never easy. Clients often feel immense guilt, even when they know it’s the right decision for their circumstances. However, if you are justified in leaving someone out, you should leave the right documentation behind to minimise the risk of an estate challenge.

When There’s Regret and Guilt

Wishing They’d Done Things Differently: I’ve had clients who, after experiencing a loss in their family, regret not having had certain conversations or making different decisions in their own estate planning. It’s hard to see people struggle with the "what ifs" and "if onlys." You can write them a letter asking for forgiveness.

Final Wishes Left Unsaid: It breaks my heart when I hear stories of clients who didn’t get the chance to say their goodbyes or leave a personal message for their loved ones. A will can handle the legal aspects, but it’s the human connections and emotional farewells that often get lost. You can write these down and ensure that they are delivered after you pass away

Being a wills lawyer is a job filled with ups and downs. It’s incredibly rewarding to help people plan for the future and provide peace of mind. But it’s also a role that comes with its share of heartache. What breaks my heart the most is seeing the pain, conflict, and regret that could have been avoided with a bit of planning and open conversation. I hope that by sharing these stories, more people will feel encouraged to take action, have tough conversations, and make the necessary plans to protect their loved ones. In the end, it’s about leaving behind more than just assets—it’s about leaving behind love and peace.

DISCLAIMER

This is a commentary published by WebWills for general information purposes only. This is not meant to be taken as particular advice. You should seek your own legal and other advice for any question, or any specific situation or proposal, or get in touch with the writer at http://webwills.com.au before making any final decision. The content also is subject to change. A person listed may not be admitted as a lawyer in all States and Territories.

© WebWills, Australia 2024.

Hazel Todd 10/02/2025 Hazel Todd 10/02/2025

9 Secrets to Protect Your Estate

When it comes to planning for the future, many of us think about the big milestones—buying a house, starting a family, or building a career. But how often do we consider what will happen to our assets once we’re no longer around? Protecting your estate is crucial, not just for your peace of mind, but for the wellbeing of your loved ones too. In this blog post, we’ll explore some practical secrets to help you safeguard your estate. Let’s dive in!

1. Make a Will

First things first: if you haven’t made a will, now’s the time! A will outline how you want your assets distributed after your passing. Without one, the state decides, which may not align with your wishes. It’s a straightforward step that can save your family a lot of heartache down the line.

2. Consider a Power of Attorney

A power of attorney gives someone you trust the authority to make financial or medical decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to do so. This document is crucial for ensuring your wishes are respected, especially in times of crisis.

3. Review Your Beneficiaries

Life changes, and so do relationships. Regularly review the beneficiaries on your accounts—like superannuation or life insurance policies—to ensure they reflect your current wishes. A simple oversight could lead to complications for your loved ones later on.

4. Set Up Trusts

Trusts can be a smart way to manage your assets. They can protect your wealth from taxes and help control how your assets are distributed. If you have young children or complex family dynamics, trust might be especially beneficial.

5. Keep Your Documents Organised

Keeping your estate planning documents organised can make a world of difference. Create a secure location—like a locked drawer or a safe—where all your important documents are stored. Make sure your loved ones know where to find them.

6. Discuss Your Plans

Don’t keep your estate plans a secret. Have open conversations with your family about your wishes. This not only helps avoid misunderstandings but also gives them the chance to ask questions. Transparency is key!

7. Review Regularly

Your life circumstances will change—new relationships, children, or even a change in financial situation. Make it a habit to review your estate plan every few years or after major life events. Keeping it up to date ensures it continues to reflect your wishes.

8. Get Professional Help

Don’t hesitate to seek professional advice. Estate planning can be complex, and a qualified solicitor or financial advisor can guide you through the nuances. They can help you make informed decisions that align with your goals.

9. Consider Digital Assets

In our digital age, don’t forget about your online presence. Make sure to include your digital assets in your estate plan, such as social media accounts, cryptocurrencies, and any online business interests. This ensures everything is accounted for.

Protecting your estate doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By taking these simple steps, you can ensure that your wishes are honoured and your loved ones are taken care of after you’re gone. Remember, it’s all about preparation and communication. Start today, and give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind. Your future self—and your loved ones—will thank you!

DISCLAIMER

This is a commentary published by HazeLegal for general information purposes only. This is not meant to be taken as particular advice. You should seek your own legal and other advice for any question, or any specific situation or proposal, or get in touch with the writer at http://hazelegal.com.au before making any final decision. The content also is subject to change. A person listed may not be admitted as a lawyer in all States and Territories.